Monday, July 23, 2007

So Close I Can Taste It

I guess the question is if an unpublished manuscript is ever really ready.

Well, I'm happy to say that I am very close to the end of my rewrite on Queen. I have maybe one chapter to add toward the end, and a few scenes that I wrote in the last few days that I need to go over and flesh out. Then of course, I'll print it out, read the entire thing, then pass the edited copy to a couple of readers for final content and line editing.

Typically when I'm writing fresh material, I'm typing almost faster than I can think. So I have to go back and "slow it down" so to speak. Things like description, internal dialog and setting all need to be fleshed out--or just put in.

The unique thing about this thriller is that the reader also gets to hear the story of the Queen of Sheba from her own point of view. Every few chapters or so is a chapter about the queen. I've called her Nicaula in my book.

The biggest task I've had to work on is tying things together. This book has several key characters who all come together at the end. Saturday night I was able to write a key scene that brought many elements of the story to a close.

A couple weeks ago I had a fresh idea. I knew there had to be a written legend handed down from generation to generation about the Queen of Sheba. It had to give clues about her life, her love, her death, and her tomb. I searched on the internet and couldn't find anything. So I turned to the Bible and found scriptures that reference the Queen of Sheba (or Queen of the South). I also compiled a list of key words that needed to be in the poem: death, virgin, serpent, six palms, lilies, seven, beneath.

This also resulted in changing the last 150 pages of the book significantly.

So here is the poem, the ode, or the legend that I invented. Of course it may turn out to be completely different if and when the book is published, but just for fun, let me know what you think:

O Queen of the south

Death began your journey

To that night when seven women held one man

The feast of seven days brought him from your dreams

But your heart melted for another like incense spread gold upon cherubim

Until your desire became as bright as precious stones

Against your bed of spices, O Queen of the south,

Your lips are lilies; your chaplets of flowers fill palms of love

Yet your virgin flower faded as the face of the serpent appeared

As sunlight wasted, six branches closed and flowers wilted

Now the seven devils hide beneath the tomb

Waiting as seven lamps still burn above

Waiting for the Queen of the south

Copyright 2007 Heather B. Moore, All Rights Reserved


Annette Lyon said...

I love the poem. Intriguing for sure. I'm so curious as to how it plays into the story!

Josi said...

Very cool--I can't WAIT to read this book and see what you've done with it. Best of luck in the final leg of rewrites

Anonymous said...

The gate will soon be opened by the last Angel causing the clash between two dimensions
From the heart of the phoenix hall arise the Southern Queen to rule the entire nation
Propel to the forefront by Omega she hath put down the 12 kings from their seats
For she to be crowned Caesar of the sleeping world
This is her revenge for all the years of abhorrence
With bare hands she wipes out the Phoenix
Her kingdom she enters with Draco and her army she leads
No Mercy shall she have
Spread fear and illusions amongst our friends
Cherish our enemies …
As one people the army sings
Kings and Queens judged by their own laws
Mud shall they drink Rotten meat shall they taste
Their weapons used against them
If they are not trembling, they better be
We mingle amongst them
We are going to be their end Blessed it be the Queen of the South